Fastest Colour Bandit.

First topic message reminder :

I read here occasionally of members making false and unfounded claims that their Bandits colour is the " fastest one ". Well, I would like to put this topic to rest once and for all. There is only 'ONE' fastest colour. And that is "Red", and all variants of the shade. No if's, no but's. The whole world knows it, apart from you unfortunate few that ride slower colours and live in a dreamworld. It was no mistake that the colour RED is associated with speed, as it should be. You only have to look at a RED Bandit and your head will become dizzy from the hyper speed aura that it omits. On a personal note. I had to purchase a new expensive camera just to take a picture of my RED steed, as I did not have a fast enough shutter speed to capture it, WHILE IT WAS STANDING STILL ! I also had to purchase velcro gloves and pants to prevent me from being blown off from the " Mighty One ", "RED", at warp speeds that are unheard of on other slow coloured Bandits. Here is a pic of a " Fastest Bandit " ..... Did you see it ? Of course not, it was too bloody fast. Point proven. Now go back to your slow coloured Bandits and look at them and face the fact. It is a SLOW colour. Sorry. Now go to your spouse or loved one and confess the lie that you have been living. Cry on her shoulder. She will understand. Well she did marry you after all. Stay strong and maybe one day you too will join the fortunate ones and ride the Fastest Bandit. The RED one.

FUTURE aka Ross wrote:

So that's why I ride a slow relaxed pace. Blue Bandit and all.

Hey dont shoot the messenger. I'm only replying to misleading and unsubstantiated claims made by " slow colour riders " on the forum.

Because black absorbs light and the other colours reflect it it becomes an optical illusion to the untrained eye that the coloured bikes are going faster , especially those bedazzled with their phallic symbolized hey look at me colour red ones ( or females who wish they had one . )The reason some other bikes are painted black is to emulate the impression that it may be a black bandit and therefore the fastest./ so that must surely imply that they also know black is the fastest colour .
I believe they paint fire trucks red so when they are parked at a fire scene people will see the red , and realize that they must go slow or stop because of a hazard which is also symbolized by the colour red .

um can you explain to me if my blue bandit is so slow why is every thing red on it got something to do with stopping it like the red stop light and the red kill switch and the red seize light

maybe its a conspiracy hammy

Tut Tut Tut. Importont items , such as you mention, are coloured RED to emphasis the importance of Speed to activate such button, switch, in the event of an emergency. Pretty simple I would think. Paint them Black and how the hell are you gonna find it let alone use it !

During the coarse of this futile debate we the informed have tried to spare the feelings of those less enlightened by not pointing out one glaringly obvious fact .
When any of the coloured bikes are placed in any darkened situation eg the shed at night they appear black ...........coincidence .................I think not . ( If you sneak out and quickly turn on the light you can observe this but you will need to be quick as they are now black )
What is happening is that the coloured bikes are acting out a role reversal because of a secret desire to be black themselves and because though they know they are fast ( they are a bandit ) the black ones are faster. It is their dream that their owners will some day take to them with the black paint ,as Gus has done to his on many occasions , to fulfill their secret desires .
Ladies and gentlemen I`m sure you will agree that if your own bikes realize black is fastest then this debate must be declared game , set , and match for the black bandits .

Notice how i carnt join in this debate .

gus wrote:Notice how i carnt join in this debate .

Please explain ?

All i know is that "pink " ISNT the faster colour .You guys fight it out .

I've only ever seen a "Pink" bike at the Gay Mardi Gra. On TV of course.

Hammy wrote:I've only ever seen a "Pink" bike at the Gay Mardi Gra. On TV of course.

As you peek out of the closet....

Maroon then,its only fast if it got a Queensland jumper on it .

Jumper or cardigan ?