Funny stuff thats no joke

First topic message reminder :

Thought I'd start a thread  to collate all the odd-ball / funny stuff that's not exactly a joke & doesn't have somewhere to post apart from cluttering up the forum with lots of single posts.

I'll start...............

In the UK, some supermarkets have admitted that there is horse meat in their home cook burgers.
Even places like Burger King have had to admit that there are “small amounts” of horse meat in their burgers.
Tesco is a big supermarket chain in the UK.

Within hours of the news that Tesco's 'all beef hamburgers' contained 30% horse meat, these quips hit the internet …


“I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse..... I guess Tesco just listened!


Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?


Not entirely sure how Tesco are going to get over this hurdle.


Waitress in Tesco asked if I wanted anything on my Burger.
So I had £5 each way!


Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night...
I still have a bit between my teeth.


A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco.
Her condition is said to be stable.


Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn


"I've just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer...AND THEY'RE OFF"


Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confusebarcodes for serving suggestions.


Said to the missus, These Tesco burgers give me the trots....


"To beef or not to beef, that is equestrian".....


A cow walks into a bar. Barman says, "Why the long face?"Cow says "Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!"


I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great horse d'oeuvres.


These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit....
Talk about flogging a dead horse!



The End???

Look at this carefully...it is a brilliant example of British Humour!
The British government has scrapped the Harrier fleet and on their farewell formation
fly past over the Houses of Parliament they gave the government a message.
Lean back a bit from your computer monitor and squint. Seriously...push your chair
back a couple of feet.. My hat is off to the man that was leading this squadron

Its time to get up

madmax wrote:Its time to get up

99% of those would result in a smack in the mouth to the perpetrator if it were me.

A paperless future



http://www.flixxy.com/the-paperless-future-emma.htm#.UUVROVfWMXQ

madmax wrote:

geez, I don't partake in alcoholic beverages at all, so is that the reason the missus reckons I'm losing my memory:P, but I keep telling her that's not the case, it's lack of sex;), because sex stimulates blood to enter the brain quicker, thus renewing the brain cells, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Regards
Paul

Blueknight wrote:geez, I don't partake in alcoholic beverages at all, so is that the reason the missus reckons I'm losing my memory:P, but I keep telling her that's not the case, it's lack of sex;), because sex stimulates blood to enter the brain quicker, thus renewing the brain cells, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Regards
Paul

I'm with you on this one Paul.

When ever my wife asks " why am/do I (insert current ailment)?" my stock answer is "not enough sex"

Hasn't done me any good yet.

Yeah Pete, my wife won't have a bar of it either (pardon the pun), she reckons the "old fella" is past his use by date but she knows I still wake up each morning with a six o'clocker.
Regards
Paul

Thats the problem, you need to wake up with the big hand pointing to 12 o'clock!

Kiwisteve wrote:Thats the problem, you need to wake up with the big hand pointing to 12 o'clock!

Shit, mine's digital

Better keep the digits off it then!

2wheelsagain wrote:

Kiwisteve wrote:Thats the problem, you need to wake up with the big hand pointing to 12 o'clock!

Shit, mine's digital

Pictures ?

Whats the point?

What ..not even for the one on the right ?

I'm not starting a theme here, I swear.