Anxiety ,depression .

First topic message reminder :

I wanted to have a chat with Reardo since learning we both suffer from an anxiety disorder . I sent him a P.M about it but we decided we may as
well discus it On-line in the hope it may help someone else now, or , in the future . I was the last person who thought i would suffer from this as
i was always care free and easy going . You dont have to be an Anxious person to suffer from it .
I can only talk about my experience with it , others my be totally different.
I had a heart attack ,not like on TV there they go AAAARRRR and keel over . More like ,indigestion especially when having sex .(sorry about that ,
but important ) I had to have a stint put in a closed artery. Before the op i asked the surgeon are there any side affects . He went through a few
one being depression .Not knowing much about it i thought " i wont get that ,i'm not the type " and forgot about it .
Out of hospital 2 days later and fixed .One year later i needed another stint after a similar feeling .In hospital 2 days .There quick and good . Home .
12 months later perfectly well i walked out side to go for a ride and felt dizzy .Very strange i thought ,queasy stomach .Eaten something bad i thought.
Next day fine .Next day bad .next day fine ,next day bad .1 week good .1 week bad .Dizzy ,sick feeling fast hear rate .
This went on for 6 months with doctor saying "nothing wrong with you " Started to doubt i own sanity.
Then something very strange happened .We were due to go to Superbikes at P.I . I got this feeling ,carnt go too far. Unheard of for me i've done it
10 times .Next day ,of cause i can go .Day after too far .Started to worry about if i was loosing it ,causing faster heart rate ,which of cause makes
you worry more causing even faster hear rate and so on and so . At this stage i' still have no idea whats wrong with me .Have lost 2 stone because
food is not inviting .Nauseous remember.
One night i am feeling really bad .I have a blood pressure machine to check blood pressure ( what else ) OK is 120 \80
I'm getting 190\ 110 thats bad ,real bad . Like a panic attack i think .Bingo the "penny drops " .At last i find out why i feel so bad .
Panic Attack .
Now ive been blessed with a great homelife with a g\friend that i dearly love .No problems, and a life that has been great .Life has been fun .
And yet i now suffer panic attacks .Yet ,i have nothing to panic about .
You dont have to be depressed to suffer this .There were times i felt so bad i thought i carnt go one this way and started to think of way to end it
all .Daydreaming maybe i'm not sure .I do know that during it you carnt say "its just an attack ,dont worry " , For some reason you say "this is it
,i'm going to die . I should call an ambulance but that 's too embarrassing .I'll just die instead ."
At least when you know whats wrong ,there is help .When it gets explained that your brain is getting short changed of a cert ant chemical it doesnt
seem so bad .WE are all different ,I'm just short of a certain chemical .LIKE A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE,NO NEED TO FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT .
When i started on a "happy pill " it got worse .A lot worse .A week i just layed on the couch , and joined this forum .
Finally it got better ,a lot better . I've always been a bit of a loner and when i think back i have probably suffered from this all my life .
Things are good now with a pill to get the chemical balance right .THats all it is ,a little bit of of a certain chemical i'm short of .No big deal .
The worst part was not knowing .I could find nothing about feeling dizzy and yet here Reado said HE felt dizzy .
I wish i had read that 12 month ago . I never felt bad riding my bike .Yet i could get in a tiz about a footy score ,if the phone rang (bad news ? ) If
i was feeling bad and music was playing ,the next time i heard the same music i'd feel crook .No wonder it can bring you down .
Yet there is a happy ending ,we are complicated and cannot expect to be perfect .Still have a bad day ,but not often and if you accept that, hey,just
a bad day ,its fine .
Boy ,this has been a longer story than i expected .Hope it may help someone .Bring on superbikes i'm up for a ride ,longer the better .

P.S. When i say "happy pill " its not like it makes you feel happy .It helps you feel NORMAL .You carnt take 2 and be "exta happy "
Be warned though if you are starting on them you will feel WORSE before better .Only about 2 week though .I have heard your body adjusts and you
can go off them .Yet to try that one .

Bad news mate ..........at least you're in the right place for some help . Hang in there eh !

I'm glad you finally have help. Get well soon!!!

trully sorry to hear this but glad your getting the help that you need,remember its okay to be stuffed up like we are with our problems,theres nothing we can do about it but it helps to tell ourselves positive stuff in our heads,i constantly battle with the voice in my head,the negative shit starts to flow and the depression grows at a rapid rate,we cannot let that happen,we need to reprogram our voice in our head to tell us good things,that life really is good,there are people still around that want to help..ive sent you a private message..check your mailbox please..

Not to cause any offense, but damn, I 've gotten off lightly compared to some of the stories here. I think the most important thing to remember is this; Even though there will always be people worse off than you, don't let that stop you from seeking help.

After a rough period of 6 weeks or so, I did some of those online tests at Beyond Blue and it confirmed what I suspected. A week later, spoke to my GP and things have been handled well so far. Psychologists aren't scary and it's ok to talk about feelings, as hard as that is for me.

well said 440,i have a lot of trouble converting the stuff in my head into words on paper or i should say into words on the computer,but you are spot on with saying that its okay to talk about our feelings and what we are thinking,you will be very suprised how good you can feel after doing this,as people have said,itll take a great weight off your shoulders,i talk to my gp quite regular and it always makes a huge difference,i feel like im building up this pressure and im ready to snap,explode,i go into my gp and he will listen to me and give me great feedback ..when i leave i always feel like a great weight has been lifted,you don't have to talk to your gp,a friend or family member will do.ive been up and down and all over the place since i had my accident at work when i was 17years old at bhp steelworks,i destroyed 3discs in my lower back,i felt nobody cared at all,i got no help back then,.i had to leave the town i grew up in to get help..sometimes we just have to help ourselves,and what i did after years of pain and suffering was to scream out for help,if what happened to me had of happened these days things would be a lot different for sure,i didnt get onto the medication for my depression and anxiety till i was around 38/39,believe me,along with my meds i learned a lot of techniques to handle my anxiety,simple breathing exercises can and did help me a lot of times..,when i went to my daughters wedding i had to walk her down the aisle,the anxiety was unreal,i remember i had to have a couple of drinks medicinally of course.. amazing how a six pack of bourbon can help the anxiety go away..i had to do something that day,my oldest daughter was only young and it was her big day and i couldnt let her down,im not able to have the most widely used drug for anxiety,valium,diazepam as i was over prescribed it for over twenty years..i abused it in the end as it is so addictive and it wouldnt work the same as it did in the begining..i ended up on at least ten tablets everyday.i was in a full on mess,valium are near impossible to get off but i managed after a real battle of over a couple of years,i nearly gave up but didnt.during that time i felt the most depressed ever,i just wanted to end it,i was not getting any help from the doctors who had given me the shit to start with,i was pissed off and in a lot of pain..i ended up going thru the hospital pain unit who did help me.they provided me with a psychologist,psychiatrist,physiotherapist,registered nurse,pain specialist doctor and they where all great people to have on your side,boy o boy i am so thankfull to those people and my family for sticking by me,and am so glad i didnt give up,if i had of given up i think of the great stuff id a missed,both ny daughters getting married and both them having their babies and me and the wife becoming grandparents..what made me cry out for help was one day id gone into adelaide with a couple hundred bucks the missus had scrimped and saved for a set of cheap tyres for the car,so i got the tyres and had a bit of change,they were cheapo tyres cos i didnt give two fucks at this time,so its about lunch time and im driving past this pub in two wells and theyre advertising topless barmaids so i thought yeh ill pop in for 5mins,ended up getting into a blue with two blokes in the freekn loo and gettn chuckedout about 11.30pm.so a gutfull a piss a handfull of diazepam and a big fat joint as im driving down the road,id taken up smoking pot as a young fella of 15 and stopped completely when i realised that it was not helping with my anxiety..anyhow im heading down the road and next minute ive gone,;''BAM,SPIN,SMASH,SHIT,BLOOD''ive smashed head on into the railway xing between two wells and mallala.fuck,writ the car off smashed my head and nearly put it thru the windscreen,the ambos had me in the back of the ambulance when the copper pulled up and he wanted me to blow in the bag,the ambos told him i was in no state to do that with the head injury so he followed us into the hospital where i was wheeled into a room had the curtain pulled around me and had a bunch of people around me,then i did something to add to the stupidity of the whole thing,as i knew the cop was waiting i got up and took off,got in a cab and tried to do a runner when i heard the cabbie get told to bring me back i threatened him so he stopped the cab and told me to get out which i did,id no sooner got out of the cab when three cop cars pulled up and arrested me took me back to the hospital and drew a blood sample,man what a fukd up night..howd you think i felt the next morning..i ended up at .232 with the blood sample,went up in front of liddie the infamous pedophile judge,2000 dollar fine and three year suspension plus the family had no car anymore the wife was upset and i was heavilly depressed and had cost my family a lot of money,.i decided that i needed help and i got help.now about twelve thirteen years down the track when i do have a drink its either light,or mid strength.and no more than a 6pack,completely of the weed,off the diazepam which the phsych doctors both told me tend to make people loose a lot of their inhibitions and do stuff that they wouldnt normaly do.yeh things have changed so much for the better now the only thing that hasnt changed is this chronic pain in my back and in my legs,but i have changed in the way that i deal with it..oh and the love for my family hasnt changed either,im so,so lucky that i only hit a railway xing and not a car full of people,i am so sorry for what i did that night i really sincerely mean that too.shit i just realized this has turned into a mammoth post again from me..take care everyone out there,i cant ride at the moment as my legs and back are playing up and im waiting on my MRI results on the avm growth around my spinal chord,sorry for rambling on here..ive only been able to ride the bike once since i bought it just the once,not happy about that but what can i do?i just have to wait and see how things go.the specialist neuro bloke doesnt really like me to ride bikes.my gp he says if it makes you happy and if your able then go for it,i fell into a bit of a bad patch when i sold off my old harley and all of my riding gear and tools at the begining of the year..i was bloody miserable and had to have another bike..now i wonder,..its what i love doing tho,at the worse i can always sit up in the shed with a beer and look at her,she is a thing of beauty..bye for now folks and again take care out there.

I am another one. About 10 years ago, two attempted suicides. Bad relationship and 3 kids in the middle of it all. Got out of that relationship 4 years ago, so much better now. Been with my current partner for 3 years and have a 12 month old. Have not been on meds for over 6 years, sometimes life has gotten hard but not anywhere near where I was years ago. I lost a long time friend to suicide (he had bi-polar) a few years ago, that hit me hard. I vowed to myself that I would never ever go back to the "dark days" ever again, I constantly check-in with myself and think about how I feel and why to make sure I am OK. I don't talk much about it with my partner, she asks from time to time how I am going though. I had my other three kids living with us for 6 months and they went back interstate 2 months ago for school holidays. They never returned. I did go through a week or so of feeling sad and lost, and since decided that I can not change the way things are so I am getting on with my life. I feel stronger, more aware may be a better way to say it, of myself. I have my new life, new family (and the bike) I look toward the future and live in the present not in the past. Most of all I don't spend too much time worrying about the things I can't change. It's different for different people I guess. Thanks to all for sharing your experiences.

There is an old saying that goes ...." You sometimes can't see the forest for the trees " , some of the changes to our lives may seem insurmountable  at the time , but a little down the track we find that our life has instead changed for the better  & new opportunities have made it so much richer .

Thanks for sharing people, this is the first time I have seen this post and the timing is bizzare .

I crashed while racing mx last sunday and had to be air lifted to flinders with broke collarbone and 3 ribs now got a machine sucking crap out my lungs.

Obviously I am not real chirpy but am feeling more than that and have been dealing with issues on my own for a while so this post has given me the guts to say something to the nurses and find out what is going on.

It could be nothing but I owe it to my family and myself to find out.

Cheers again, ride safe.

good onya watto,hope ya come good real soon,im hoping to meet everyone on a ride sometime when im able.good luck with everything mate,dont be afraid to tell them whats been buggn ya.take care

Hope you mend well Watto, and good luck with the other stuff too. Lots of support here if you need it. Hardest part about talking about it is having the guts to, well done!

I hope you get well soon Watto.



Actually, I hope you all are doing well! 



Except Paul  lol just joking!

Hope all goes well Watto

Boy, there is some tough stories here and I wish every one well .
Remember though you can get an anxiety attack  while eating an ice -cream while reading Aust .Moto.news . Its not the ice cream or the mag . its just
the chemicals go out of wack .
My anxiety attacks were like getting punched in the head (without the punch ).To be honest my life has been pretty cruisie   with no huge drama .
Yet one day age BANG out of the blue a panic attack . No reason ,just heart started going real fast which of cause you worry about so it goes faster .ect ,ect .
Finally it ends up a panic attack .More common than you think . I told a guy about it at work the other day , he looked at me and said
Shit I get those ,I thought I was the only one and was going mad .
He isn't .

Yes hello everyone. I suffer from depression all my life. But had a good few years with a wonderful lady then I got really sick had to have major open heart surgery and we'll was told by this lady was suppose to die on the operating table. We just built a brand new house and gotten married. And she moved in with her boyfriend and moved on like we never existed. My depression is worst now no meaning in life. Wish I had the guts to end it because every day is a struggle. I don't trust Noone life is lonely family don't care no one cares. Am moving soon hoping life might change with new surrounds or I fall over and that will be it have seen doctors been in hospital. But still feel alone. Know all too well about this disease. Just going to ride off soon try and rebuild am praying.
Sorry. If I have offended anyone about writing this but it's the truth.

I went through a pretty crap time a few years back with my immediate supervisor at work and our manager, to cut a long story short he was fairly new to the job (one I loved, it was a pleasure to wake up and go to work every day until he was promoted), I had actually done a fair bit of his training, he had the gift of the gab and could talk his way into or out of anything. 
Anyone he perceived as a threat was fair game, I was one of 4 that applied for the promotion he got, to be honest, I only applied because I thought I should, after he got the job myself and the other 3 were underhandedly hounded and back stabbed, 2 left early on, another 2 or 3 came along and left after a short time, all had exit interviews stating to management why they were leaving, I loved my job and just kept battling on until one day I cracked, normally I'd be vocal and upfront if I was challenged, that day something cracked but I stayed super calm while his side kick manager went red in the face and was spitting with anger while yelling as I denied his bullshit allegations.
An hour later I calmly walked out, rode to my doctors and rang 2 contacts I knew in our HR department (one OHS and one Personnel), the next day I was visited by the next tier manager (who had completed all of the previous exit interviews). A week later I was moved sideways to a role in another location, while the job is good it'll never be my old job but the environment I know work in is the same as what I'd previously known.
During the next 6 months or so I had a number of panic attacks, there was a investigation which saw persons moved from there positions, the findings were "we cannot prove the allegations" but I was told off the record "we know it is happening", they were put back in their roles a year after it all came to a head. I was asked (nearly begged) to do a job at the old site for a couple of weeks, my initial reaction was no way. I was talked into it and the anxiety came back until the 2nd day I was there, every time I saw one of them the bolted the other way, in the end I realised me being back was stressing them more than they were stressing me.
Although it was offered to me II was lucky to deal with it with no medication, just a very good doctor, good support from family and friends including some old work mates who still rock up every day getting shat on by the same 2 idiots that tried to bring me down. 

When it all came to a head I was in a pretty dark place, anyone there don't leave it as long as I did, there is plenty of good help out there

I know the feeling. But I don't even have a job now because of the same thing and have nothing but debt. Yes I am bankrupt and feel ashamed because I am an emotional man and have tried really hard to move on but I seem to can't so just getting the courage now to disappear no one will miss me. Thanks anyway.

It is surprising how many of us have hit rock bottom at some stage of life , but the best part of life is that it keeps on moving on whether we want it to or not ; sometimes good , sometimes bad .
There always seems to be something or someone that comes along eventually to make it all worthwhile again & take away the darkness . Hang in there bud..............you never know what's around the corner or what life has in store for us .

What I've noticed along the journey of life is how a good job can be fucked up by other bastards you have to work with, Chook's is a good case to highlight.  Over 37 years of working, I worked for three real dickheads (c$#@s), all men. They became my supervisor, ie I didn't move positions, although one was associated with a re-structure and I found myself working for him.  These arseholes are completely demotivating, and you simply do not want to go to work, you can't sleep properly, and you end up drinking too much.  Worse still, the third one actually go promoted - but there was some karma, he had a heart attack shortly afterwards and had to retire (good f###ing riddance).  

All good jobs can be ruined by fuckwits and it's bloody hard to work through that and be a good family man at the same time. 

But the good times were good and they're the ones I prefer to remember. 

Ive never known you to swear so much Dave.
I'm showing your mum

No a better life would be dead. To be with someone who did care I have given up.

lonelyshyone wrote:No a better life would be dead. To be with someone who did care I have given up.

Mate , perhaps give this mob a ring 

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

Pack a swag on ya bike. A few tins of beans, loaf of bread and some bananas.  
Go bush and soak up some of nature's beauty. 

I always find getting back to nature,  shiting in the bush and wiping with paperbark, bed at sunset and rise with the birds, collecting wood for the next nights fire, fishing for your dinner, picking the leaches off your feet, really recharges my batteries.  

I believe that we have primal needs that are not met by modern life.
We work hard for monetary reward so that we can trade that money for the things that we need and want. It doesn't fulfill the needs of a hunter gatherer. 
As sophisticated, refined and civilised as we think we are as a society, we still don't tick all the boxes required for a satisfying, fulfilling life. 
I think we miss being chased by that Sabre toothed Tiger, every now and again.  

I'm not saying that it's a cure for clinical depression, but I do believe that it gets your head, and the chemicals within, to a better place.

lonelyshyone wrote:Yes hello everyone. I suffer from depression all my life. But had a good few years with a wonderful lady then I got really sick had to have major open heart surgery and we'll was told by this lady was suppose to die on the operating table. We just built a brand new house and gotten married. And she moved in with her boyfriend and moved on like we never existed. My depression is worst now no meaning in life. Wish I had the guts to end it because every day is a struggle. I don't trust Noone life is lonely family don't care no one cares. Am moving soon hoping life might change with new surrounds or I fall over and that will be it have seen doctors been in hospital.  But still feel alone. Know all too well about this disease. Just going to ride off soon try and rebuild am praying.
Sorry. If I have offended anyone about writing this but it's the truth.

I am glad you don't have the guts to end it. My opinion - you are more the man for fighting through it no matter how hard it gets.
I think it was Winston Churchill who was credited with "If you are going through hell, keep going"
Have you tried a church organisation/counselling or as Paul suggested beyond blue?

Keep Going lonelyshyone = The rewards at the end will be worth it.

Perhaps changing your avatar name might be a start in the right direction .You have to WANT to get up out of that hole, not expect to be pulled out ..

We've all been there. Some on here know my story and I'm grateful for the support and  friendship of those people.
It gets better. You just have to keep climbing.