Anxiety ,depression .

I wanted to have a chat with Reardo since learning we both suffer from an anxiety disorder . I sent him a P.M about it but we decided we may as
well discus it On-line in the hope it may help someone else now, or , in the future . I was the last person who thought i would suffer from this as
i was always care free and easy going . You dont have to be an Anxious person to suffer from it .
I can only talk about my experience with it , others my be totally different.
I had a heart attack ,not like on TV there they go AAAARRRR and keel over . More like ,indigestion especially when having sex .(sorry about that ,
but important ) I had to have a stint put in a closed artery. Before the op i asked the surgeon are there any side affects . He went through a few
one being depression .Not knowing much about it i thought " i wont get that ,i'm not the type " and forgot about it .
Out of hospital 2 days later and fixed .One year later i needed another stint after a similar feeling .In hospital 2 days .There quick and good . Home .
12 months later perfectly well i walked out side to go for a ride and felt dizzy .Very strange i thought ,queasy stomach .Eaten something bad i thought.
Next day fine .Next day bad .next day fine ,next day bad .1 week good .1 week bad .Dizzy ,sick feeling fast hear rate .
This went on for 6 months with doctor saying "nothing wrong with you " Started to doubt i own sanity.
Then something very strange happened .We were due to go to Superbikes at P.I . I got this feeling ,carnt go too far. Unheard of for me i've done it
10 times .Next day ,of cause i can go .Day after too far .Started to worry about if i was loosing it ,causing faster heart rate ,which of cause makes
you worry more causing even faster hear rate and so on and so . At this stage i' still have no idea whats wrong with me .Have lost 2 stone because
food is not inviting .Nauseous remember.
One night i am feeling really bad .I have a blood pressure machine to check blood pressure ( what else ) OK is 120 \80
I'm getting 190\ 110 thats bad ,real bad . Like a panic attack i think .Bingo the "penny drops " .At last i find out why i feel so bad .
Panic Attack .
Now ive been blessed with a great homelife with a g\friend that i dearly love .No problems, and a life that has been great .Life has been fun .
And yet i now suffer panic attacks .Yet ,i have nothing to panic about .
You dont have to be depressed to suffer this .There were times i felt so bad i thought i carnt go one this way and started to think of way to end it
all .Daydreaming maybe i'm not sure .I do know that during it you carnt say "its just an attack ,dont worry " , For some reason you say "this is it
,i'm going to die . I should call an ambulance but that 's too embarrassing .I'll just die instead ."
At least when you know whats wrong ,there is help .When it gets explained that your brain is getting short changed of a cert ant chemical it doesnt
seem so bad .WE are all different ,I'm just short of a certain chemical .LIKE A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE,NO NEED TO FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT .
When i started on a "happy pill " it got worse .A lot worse .A week i just layed on the couch , and joined this forum .
Finally it got better ,a lot better . I've always been a bit of a loner and when i think back i have probably suffered from this all my life .
Things are good now with a pill to get the chemical balance right .THats all it is ,a little bit of of a certain chemical i'm short of .No big deal .
The worst part was not knowing .I could find nothing about feeling dizzy and yet here Reado said HE felt dizzy .
I wish i had read that 12 month ago . I never felt bad riding my bike .Yet i could get in a tiz about a footy score ,if the phone rang (bad news ? ) If
i was feeling bad and music was playing ,the next time i heard the same music i'd feel crook .No wonder it can bring you down .
Yet there is a happy ending ,we are complicated and cannot expect to be perfect .Still have a bad day ,but not often and if you accept that, hey,just
a bad day ,its fine .
Boy ,this has been a longer story than i expected .Hope it may help someone .Bring on superbikes i'm up for a ride ,longer the better .

P.S. When i say "happy pill " its not like it makes you feel happy .It helps you feel NORMAL .You carnt take 2 and be "exta happy "
Be warned though if you are starting on them you will feel WORSE before better .Only about 2 week though .I have heard your body adjusts and you
can go off them .Yet to try that one .

Symptoms gus?

That's pretty brave Gus & Reardo.
Huge respect from me for raising the subject and putting yourselves out there.

My experience is through my second ex who as doagnosed with depression 10 years before we split and she went home to NZ (I think).
As an observer and partner/husband it took me a couple of years to understand she wasnt "sad". Something much deeper.
She was on medication and pretty much held down a full time job because she had too but seriously the only time she said the pain went away was when she was drunk which in the end was all the time. Long story.

If another partner is going through the same on here I'm happy to support but maybe not as public.

I Thought I was sick, Like a flu or something like that. That was slowing getting worse over months.
It wasn't till I started to fill like I needed to cry one day, that thought could have Depression.
So before the miss's got home, I jumped on the web site www.beyondblue.org.au and did the online Symptom Checklists.
And it told me to go see a doctor. I did, And shit I wish I did a lot earlier.
I had 2 types of anxiety, General and Attack/Panic, AND Depression. The Depression for me was gone in a week or so. They say it was just because anxiety attacks.

Some of my symptoms:
I was tired all the time.
But could not turn off at bed time. About 4hours sleep a night. (never been a big sleeper, but more then around 4hours)
Found it hard to stop worrying. (I've never been a worrier).
On edge And irritable (I'm a easy going person).
Dizzy, lightheaded.
Short term memory loss. I couldn't remember where I parked the car,etc,etc. The 3 weeks the Doctor give me off, felt like 3 days.
It just go's on, on, and on.

I take a pill before I go to bed with no side effects.
I still have small attacks, that can be controlled with thing like breathing techniques.

Beyond Blue

Thanks for that reardo i only sleep about 4 to 6hrs a nite being a shift worker but always worry alot too. i might go and take that test

Guys, this is great... As a 4th year social work sudent this is a great form of "therapy"....

I think most people will have experiences of depression or anxiety. The main problem is when it hangs around... You can't always beat it on your own and it takes real strength to seek help. I wish I had also sought help soonr for my own issues.

I'm assuming you guys are happy for all to share? I must say I have found telling my story and hearing others to be really helpful.....

Ok maybe a bit different but if it will help any one here goes
I guess I`ve always been a bit compulsive /obsessive( door locks , turning things off , anything I did had to be perfect etc ) so maybe that had something to do with it but after I had my bypass I started to feel useless / terminal even & couldn`t understand it ;after all I was invincible , I`d even survived kidney cancer , & got on top of my rheumatoid arthritis nothing was going to get me . Then the panic attacks started . Oh boy I never appreciated what they were until I`d had them . Where I was working at the time didn`t want me back at work until I was completely better which wouldn`t have been for quite a while so I went & saw a trimming mate & started working there to give myself a purpose ( self worth ) in life & have been there ever since . the panic attacks stopped ( with some help from the doctor ) & the experience has left me with a much different outlook on life . I guess the hardest thing about mental illness is it`s not like a cut or broken bone which people can see / relate to but it`s an equally if not more debilitating illness . The physical problems continue to some degree but I hope I never have to completely return to that mental state / that was worse .

chips wrote:
I'm assuming you guys are happy for all to share?

Yeah, that the point of this thread.

I must say I have found telling my story and hearing others to be really helpful.....

Same. And all these people start telling you there experiences. People you think would never get it too.

Forgot ,things started to make me "JUMP" more than normal. Felt a bit on edge like sitting watching TV and realising i was tense and knotted up .
Still hate a certain song .

gus wrote:
Still hate a certain song .

" Achy Breaky Heart " ?

One positive thing that I am feeling here is that it ( illness ), has not stopped or deterred our love of the freedom for motorcycling. I to have had my share of "bad luck" with illness and injury but it is great to be able to continue my love of motorcycles. I hope that we can all throw our leg over ( in more ways than one ), for many, many a long year. So next time that you hit the starter button and twist the throttle, enjoy the feeling, and remember, "we are here for a good time, not a long one".

Actually it was the music in Bold and the Beautifull when Brooke " bonked the daughters boyfriend .Told you i spent a lot of time on the couch .
If they replay it, i start to feel crook .A bit like drinking something that you got over drunk on .Scared for life .

B n B ! Sorry Gus. I didn't know that you were that far gone. At least your back thinkin' about Mad Max now. Phew, that was close.

Been there too Gus and Reardo. Probably not as bad. Used to get so bloody frustrated that I couldn't get done what I wanted to get done. Lost hours and hours if sleep. One day I crashed and nearly took out a few people at work. I went to see a psychologist for a few weeks who taught me how to deal with it. There was a lot of shit dragged up from the childhood, (physical & mental abuse) that I had to face and let go. On of the things that she taught me was to take all the things that I wanted to get done in one day and forget about 75% of them. She really helped. What I'd like to say to anyone of you blokes out there is this. If you don't feel right or are constantly worrying about tiny problems. Or you find yourself going off the handle over the most insignificant things. GET HELP. Don't think that you'll be right and you get over it because it will eventually come back to bite you or the people you care about. I've been married for going on 30 years to the same woman, and the crap that she has had to put up with should have made her leave ages ago. Take care out there and enjoy life.

Thankyou for sharing this blokes.

I have never suffered from depression, anxiety etc, and hopefully never do. Our youngest son on the other hand does suffer from, among other things, mild depression and anxiety. He can be fine (normal) for days, weeks even. Then for no apparrent reason he'll withdraw into himself, get angry/frustrated at the smallest things.

We spoke with the school about it as we thought it was a result of bullying, but no. The councilor suggested we contact 'headspace', which we did. A few sessions later, some by himself, others with his mum and I as well, and it seems to have gotten better. We still have 'moments' but with the techniques the counilors gave us he (and us) are coping much better, and because we now recongnise the signs we can almost minimize the effect.

Fortunately no additional drugs are required (he's already on low dose ritalin for low level ADD).

I just wish that the government would spend as much on mental health awarness campaigns as they do on "Speed Kills" campaigns.

+100 on having the guts to speak out guys. My wife used to work for ITIM australia ( now called Converge). They are counselling mob for industry. The number of calls we had to her mobile at 1, 2 and 3 in the morning from ( mainly men) who were suffering from panic attacks and anxiety was incredible. Part of my job is in a medical centre and many men (particularly on nightshift) often come up to just talk about the issues they are facing. You are definately not alone, although it seem's like it at the time. Good luck to both of you ( yes, even you Ian ) and anyone else in the same boat.

b12mick wrote:I just wish that the government would spend as much on mental health awarness campaigns as they do on "Speed Kills" campaigns.

with the reforms from the previous and current labour government they now spend more on mental health than we ever have....

THe thing is i dont think most of us sufferers feel there is anything to hide .I could say "I broke my arm " or i could just as easy say " i suffer from
anxiety attacks ". IT s all the same to me .You can see a broken arm and people will ask you about it .No one will ask you about anxiety because you
carnt see it .I'm quite willing to talk about it ,just like footy ,bikes ,fishing or the weather .

gus wrote:THe thing is i dont think most of us sufferers feel there is anything to hide .I could say "I broke my arm " or i could just as easy say " i suffer from
anxiety attacks ". IT s all the same to me .You can see a broken arm and people will ask you about it .No one will ask you about anxiety because you
carnt see it .I'm quite willing to talk about it ,just like footy ,bikes ,fishing or the weather .

I think the other difficult thing is that people say I have a broken arm and it easy to fix, pain killers, cast and time and it is sorted.

The problem with mental illness, is that it can't always be "fixed" with just time... or medication, or anything. Sometimes it just is... It's not just that people can't see it, but its that they can't relate to how to treat it either....

I went to a psychologist 3 times. She give me techniques to deal with the attacks. It helped.
As they talk to you, they read your body language and expressions So as she is telling me I can burn off the over load of adrenalin,
I started to smile. So she asked what I was thinking about What i was thinking was, well, rrrrrrrr. well. What uummmmm
My psychologist was 23 about 5,10" big boobs, small waist and curvy hips. Very nice.

THats when you know there IS hope .

Even though I've done some of the Beyondblue tests, I was prompted by this thread to try again. Unsurprisingly I was in the middle of third category. Why so unsurprising? I lost my mother to cancer almost three months ago, that and low self esteem and being stuck in a shit house job. At least I can fix the last 2 issues with time, the first will probably never be 'fixed'.

Funnily enough, I don't take the bike out for a hard thrash, the opposite really, it's calming and a smile bringer. Just me and me bike, even if it's just going around the burbs.

Four40 wrote:Even though I've done some of the Beyondblue tests, I was prompted by this thread to try again. Unsurprisingly I was in the middle of third category. Why so unsurprising? I lost my mother to cancer almost three months ago, that and low self esteem and being stuck in a shit house job. At least I can fix the last 2 issues with time, the first will probably never be 'fixed'.

Funnily enough, I don't take the bike out for a hard thrash, the opposite really, it's calming and a smile bringer. Just me and me bike, even if it's just going around the burbs.

As hard as it is not to be somebody's " little boy" anymore / & as nice as it would have been to just drop in & visit in the future & you can`t ,I think people live on in our own thoughts & memories of them . Cancer is a crap way to go & I wouldn`t wish the suffering on anyone longer than they have to .Time does numb the pain of loss eventually & the thought that they aren`t suffering any more is some comfort in itself . A nice long ride is always therapeutic .

Sorry to hear about your Mum mate.

Have talk to your Doctor. I wish I did a lot earlier then I did, It maybe nothing or something.