Funny stuff thats no joke
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Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Mon 24 Sep 2012, 8:52 pm
First topic message reminder :
Thought I'd start a thread to collate all the odd-ball / funny stuff that's not exactly a joke & doesn't have somewhere to post apart from cluttering up the forum with lots of single posts.
I'll start...............
Thought I'd start a thread to collate all the odd-ball / funny stuff that's not exactly a joke & doesn't have somewhere to post apart from cluttering up the forum with lots of single posts.
I'll start...............
Last edited by paul on Sat 21 Feb 2015, 10:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
madmax Sat 30 May 2015, 12:56 pm
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
gazzar Sat 30 May 2015, 7:03 pm
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Tue 02 Jun 2015, 6:35 pm
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Thu 04 Jun 2015, 6:53 pm
Facebook & the flood
http://www.pleated-jeans.com/2015/05/29/if-noahs-ark-were-a-facebook-newsfeed/
http://www.pleated-jeans.com/2015/05/29/if-noahs-ark-were-a-facebook-newsfeed/
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
2wheelsagain Sun 07 Jun 2015, 5:06 pm
My brother sent this from Zambia
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
madmax Sun 07 Jun 2015, 8:44 pm
Hmm, i wonder if they get a lot of work.
Then again it got someone to take a picture of it.
Then again it got someone to take a picture of it.
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Sun 07 Jun 2015, 8:58 pm
LOL , and then there was the one with the pygmy model ...............because you're never too small to advertise 
I guess being so small would be handy if you worked in the sewers.
http://www.grutherfordoutdooradvertising.com/folio.php
I guess being so small would be handy if you worked in the sewers. http://www.grutherfordoutdooradvertising.com/folio.php
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Sun 07 Jun 2015, 9:42 pm
Say cheese............... 
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Sun 07 Jun 2015, 10:19 pm
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Mon 08 Jun 2015, 6:08 pm
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Tue 09 Jun 2015, 8:10 pm
W.T.F...........
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Fri 12 Jun 2015, 9:26 pm
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
gazzar Sat 13 Jun 2015, 7:04 pm
_________________
2016 F800 GSA
no bling just just
dirt'n'mud ; )
2015 F6C 1800
naked Gold Wing.
let the mod begin
------------------------
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
Bosco15 Sat 13 Jun 2015, 10:37 pm
I just did. 
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
gazzar Sat 13 Jun 2015, 11:43 pm
_________________
2016 F800 GSA
no bling just just
dirt'n'mud ; )
2015 F6C 1800
naked Gold Wing.
let the mod begin
------------------------
4 those who believe,no proof is necessary.
4 those who don't...... no proof is possible.
gazzar- Posts : 552
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
gazzar Sun 14 Jun 2015, 11:41 am
_________________
2016 F800 GSA
no bling just just
dirt'n'mud ; )
2015 F6C 1800
naked Gold Wing.
let the mod begin
------------------------
4 those who believe,no proof is necessary.
4 those who don't...... no proof is possible.
gazzar- Posts : 552
Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 67
Location : Albion Park NSW
Chook- Posts : 4089
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
Chook Mon 15 Jun 2015, 12:31 pm
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
--------------------
13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
Chook- Posts : 4089
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
Chook Mon 15 Jun 2015, 12:42 pm
The ID card:
The other day I needed to go to the public hospital but not wanting to sit there for 4 hours,
I put on my blue jacket and pinned on a plastic ID card that I had made off the Internet onto the front of my jacket...
When I went into the hospital, I noticed that 3 quarters of the people got up and left, I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.
That cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.
Here's the patch.
Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service:
It also works at Centrelink, it saved me another 2 hours there.
Don't try it at McDonald's though.....
The whole staff disappeared and I never got my order!
The other day I needed to go to the public hospital but not wanting to sit there for 4 hours,
I put on my blue jacket and pinned on a plastic ID card that I had made off the Internet onto the front of my jacket...
When I went into the hospital, I noticed that 3 quarters of the people got up and left, I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.
That cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.
Here's the patch.
Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service:
It also works at Centrelink, it saved me another 2 hours there.
Don't try it at McDonald's though.....
The whole staff disappeared and I never got my order!
Chook- Posts : 4089
Join date : 2012-01-20
Age : 59
Location : Suburban Bendigo -
Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Thu 18 Jun 2015, 9:29 pm
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
gazzar Fri 19 Jun 2015, 7:10 am
_________________
2016 F800 GSA
no bling just just
dirt'n'mud ; )
2015 F6C 1800
naked Gold Wing.
let the mod begin
------------------------
4 those who believe,no proof is necessary.
4 those who don't...... no proof is possible.
gazzar- Posts : 552
Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 67
Location : Albion Park NSW
Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
2wheelsagain Fri 19 Jun 2015, 7:44 pm
_________________
My posts reflect my personal experience or opinion. You don't have to agree with me.
~ Chris ~~ 0466 Ask ~
~ My Photography Blog Page ~
~ My YouTube Channel ~
~ Suzuki Bandits Australia Facebook Page ~
~ Half hr from the hills. Two minutes from the coast ~
~ My Bike ~
BMW R1250RS
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- Posts : 6390
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke
paul Fri 19 Jun 2015, 7:53 pm
But what if you need 2 hands 
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Similar topics» Funny stuff thats no joke
» Not really a sick joke but funny
» Carbon stuff
» Stuff you've done for a good cause
» Blue stuff
» Not really a sick joke but funny
» Carbon stuff
» Stuff you've done for a good cause
» Blue stuff
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