Funny stuff thats no joke

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Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  gazzar on Thu 13 Aug 2015, 11:17 am

First topic message reminder :


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4 those who believe,no proof is necessary.
4 those who don't...... no proof is possible.                                                                                     



                                                                                                                                                               



                                                 
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 11:55 am




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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  Chook on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 7:52 pm

@paul wrote:Thought I'd start a thread  to collate all the odd-ball / funny stuff that's not exactly a joke & doesn't have somewhere to post apart from cluttering up the forum with lots of single posts.

I'll start...............
................and try and finish it as well !!



Thise following the post whore thread will understand Wink
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 8:33 pm

@Chook wrote:
@paul wrote:Thought I'd start a thread  to collate all the odd-ball / funny stuff that's not exactly a joke & doesn't have somewhere to post apart from cluttering up the forum with lots of single posts.

I'll start...............
................and try and finish it as well !!



Thise following the post whore thread will understand Wink
I don't think this thread is quite ready for the scrap heap yet ...........................come on Chook ; keep up Razz  Wink

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  madmax on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 8:50 pm

Yeah come on chook Paul needs this to keep his post count up.Laughing

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 8:52 pm

@madmax wrote:Yeah come on chook Paul needs this to keep his post count up.Laughing
So says number 3  Razz



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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  gazzar on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 9:02 pm


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2016 F800 GSA
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dirt'n'mud ; )
2015 F6C 1800
naked Gold Wing.
let the mod begin
------------------------
4 those who believe,no proof is necessary.
4 those who don't...... no proof is possible.                                                                                     



                                                                                                                                                               



                                                 
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  madmax on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 9:04 pm

@paul wrote:
@madmax wrote:Yeah come on chook Paul needs this to keep his post count up.Laughing
So says number 3  Razz


Yep but your still number 1 

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 9:40 pm

I could just as easily stop posting so you all can catch up if you all prefer. Wink

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  madmax on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 10:11 pm

Nah can't do that, we like the jokes mate, and then who are we going to tease Very Happy

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 10:33 pm

Laughing Laughing

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  Chook on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 10:49 pm

@paul wrote:
@madmax wrote:Yeah come on chook Paul needs this to keep his post count up.Laughing
So says number 3  Razz


That post is getting awfully close to self abuse!!
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Sat 22 Aug 2015, 11:04 pm

@Chook wrote:
@paul wrote:
@madmax wrote:Yeah come on chook Paul needs this to keep his post count up.Laughing
So says number 3  Razz


That post is getting awfully close to self abuse!!
You're right ...............we have a new number 3


[th]Rank[/th][th]Username[/th][th]Posts[/th][th]Percent[/th][th]Graph[/th]
TOP POSTING USERS THIS WEEK [SUNDAY 16 - SATURDAY 22]
1paul4525%
2Hammy2816%
3Chook2715%
4madmax2615%
52wheelsagain127%
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7Ewok1958106%
8Dekenai74%
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10Re-Cycled53%

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  madmax on Sun 23 Aug 2015, 11:23 am

30 Actual Sentences Found In Patients Hospital Charts.


1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

3. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 8. The patient refused autopsy. 9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

24. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

27. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by DR. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

30. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.



I'm a bit concerned with #20, the doctor must have long arms

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  Chook on Sun 23 Aug 2015, 3:25 pm

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Sun 23 Aug 2015, 6:46 pm






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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  Re-Cycled on Sun 23 Aug 2015, 7:00 pm

@paul wrote:


I thought I was the only one who thought this! lol!

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Mon 24 Aug 2015, 9:59 am




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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Tue 25 Aug 2015, 6:54 pm


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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Tue 25 Aug 2015, 8:57 pm




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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  gazzar on Wed 26 Aug 2015, 7:46 am


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2015 F6C 1800
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let the mod begin
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4 those who believe,no proof is necessary.
4 those who don't...... no proof is possible.                                                                                     



                                                                                                                                                               



                                                 
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  Bosco15 on Wed 26 Aug 2015, 2:27 pm

Lmao. 
I have always wanted to run up to a letter box and say
"Hey Julie. How have you been?"
And then
"Oh sorry. My mistake.  You look just like someone I know"

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  gazzar on Thu 27 Aug 2015, 6:44 am








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2016 F800 GSA
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dirt'n'mud ; )
2015 F6C 1800
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let the mod begin
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4 those who believe,no proof is necessary.
4 those who don't...... no proof is possible.                                                                                     



                                                                                                                                                               



                                                 
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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  paul on Fri 28 Aug 2015, 9:37 am


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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  Hammy on Fri 28 Aug 2015, 12:25 pm

@paul wrote:

Clever .  I like that.    But it still shouldn't count in your tally.  Laughing

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Re: Funny stuff thats no joke

Post  Chook on Fri 28 Aug 2015, 1:02 pm

@Hammy wrote:
Clever .  I like that.    But it still shouldn't count in your tally.  Laughing
lol!
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