Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science

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Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science

Post  madmax on Wed 08 Feb 2012, 4:40 pm

The CSIRO recently discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.


Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.


Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.


When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.



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Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science

Post  paul on Wed 08 Feb 2012, 6:31 pm

Funny / Sad / & bloody true Very Happy

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Re: Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science

Post  NTBill on Wed 08 Feb 2012, 8:19 pm

Groan....I work in that environment and it's sooo bloody true. Our little unit does try to buck the trend. Is that called being a free radical, or colliding atoms? Shocked
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Re: Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science

Post  Kaupy1962 on Wed 08 Feb 2012, 11:21 pm

Is it just me, or are business managers and politicians the same? It doesn't seem to matter who you work for, the people that sit in the offices at the top make all the decisions even if they're wrong. And everyone else has to put up with the bad decisions, until they finally make one good decision and consider themselves the ultimate superior being when they do. And politicians do the same. Weren't they smacked as kids or something?
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Re: Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science

Post  Mpottsy on Fri 10 Feb 2012, 3:48 pm

Im a free radical I'm my organisation. I fly around Asia causing havoc and disruption on each visit and then when everything is about to go critical I fly out. Usually takes about 3 days to cause critical mass Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

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Re: Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science

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