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Anxiety ,depression .

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Post  gus Tue 08 Nov 2011, 5:20 pm

First topic message reminder :

I wanted to have a chat with Reardo since learning we both suffer from an anxiety disorder . I sent him a P.M about it but we decided we may as
well discus it On-line in the hope it may help someone else now, or , in the future . I was the last person who thought i would suffer from this as
i was always care free and easy going . You dont have to be an Anxious person to suffer from it .
I can only talk about my experience with it , others my be totally different.
I had a heart attack ,not like on TV there they go AAAARRRR and keel over . More like ,indigestion especially when having sex .(sorry about that ,
but important ) I had to have a stint put in a closed artery. Before the op i asked the surgeon are there any side affects . He went through a few
one being depression .Not knowing much about it i thought " i wont get that ,i'm not the type " and forgot about it .
Out of hospital 2 days later and fixed .One year later i needed another stint after a similar feeling .In hospital 2 days .There quick and good . Home .
12 months later perfectly well i walked out side to go for a ride and felt dizzy .Very strange i thought ,queasy stomach .Eaten something bad i thought.
Next day fine .Next day bad .next day fine ,next day bad .1 week good .1 week bad .Dizzy ,sick feeling fast hear rate .
This went on for 6 months with doctor saying "nothing wrong with you " Started to doubt i own sanity.
Then something very strange happened .We were due to go to Superbikes at P.I . I got this feeling ,carnt go too far. Unheard of for me i've done it
10 times .Next day ,of cause i can go .Day after too far .Started to worry about if i was loosing it ,causing faster heart rate ,which of cause makes
you worry more causing even faster hear rate and so on and so . At this stage i' still have no idea whats wrong with me .Have lost 2 stone because
food is not inviting .Nauseous remember.
One night i am feeling really bad .I have a blood pressure machine to check blood pressure ( what else Very Happy ) OK is 120 \80
I'm getting 190\ 110 thats bad ,real bad . Like a panic attack i think .Bingo the "penny drops " .At last i find out why i feel so bad .
Panic Attack .
Now ive been blessed with a great homelife with a g\friend that i dearly love .No problems, and a life that has been great .Life has been fun .
And yet i now suffer panic attacks .Yet ,i have nothing to panic about .
You dont have to be depressed to suffer this .There were times i felt so bad i thought i carnt go one this way and started to think of way to end it
all .Daydreaming maybe i'm not sure .I do know that during it you carnt say "its just an attack ,dont worry " , For some reason you say "this is it
,i'm going to die . I should call an ambulance but that 's too embarrassing .I'll just die instead ."
At least when you know whats wrong ,there is help .When it gets explained that your brain is getting short changed of a cert ant chemical it doesnt
seem so bad .WE are all different ,I'm just short of a certain chemical .LIKE A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE,NO NEED TO FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT .
When i started on a "happy pill " it got worse .A lot worse .A week i just layed on the couch , and joined this forum .
Finally it got better ,a lot better . I've always been a bit of a loner and when i think back i have probably suffered from this all my life .
Things are good now with a pill to get the chemical balance right .THats all it is ,a little bit of of a certain chemical i'm short of .No big deal .
The worst part was not knowing .I could find nothing about feeling dizzy and yet here Reado said HE felt dizzy .
I wish i had read that 12 month ago . I never felt bad riding my bike .Yet i could get in a tiz about a footy score ,if the phone rang (bad news ? ) If
i was feeling bad and music was playing ,the next time i heard the same music i'd feel crook .No wonder it can bring you down .
Yet there is a happy ending ,we are complicated and cannot expect to be perfect .Still have a bad day ,but not often and if you accept that, hey,just
a bad day ,its fine .
Boy ,this has been a longer story than i expected .Hope it may help someone .Bring on superbikes i'm up for a ride ,longer the better . Very Happy

P.S. When i say "happy pill " its not like it makes you feel happy .It helps you feel NORMAL .You carnt take 2 and be "exta happy "
Be warned though if you are starting on them you will feel WORSE before better .Only about 2 week though .I have heard your body adjusts and you
can go off them .Yet to try that one .


Last edited by gus on Wed 09 Nov 2011, 8:33 am; edited 6 times in total
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Post  Freeway Wed 09 Nov 2011, 11:04 pm

Excellent topic Gus,kudos to you, a subject we blokes like to soldier on & ignore which does nobody any good. I've recently started on a course of "happy pills" too & as you said I realise now it's probably always been there. Also had some psychologist sessions a year or so ago, it's all come about from being self employed & heaps of stress , long hours & no time off (had a week off last December, the first in 7 years apart from the annual Xmas break). How to die too young in one easy lesson! Fatigue, difficulty concentrating(haven't read a book in years because I just can't), couldn't think straight, couldn't cope with shit going wrong which as we all know just makes more shit go wrong. I don't know how my wife put up with me but she takes the for better or worse bit seriously I guess. She works in a medical centre & finally convinced me to go in & see a doctor there who specialises in this kind of stuff & the world looks better now. As you commented, it's not about getting happy all the time , it's about feeling normal. A couple of interesting comments from said Dr - "depression" is badly named because it's not a matter of sad sad sad, it's a matter of being "flattened out". I had bouts of it which I could feel like a physical sensation.Trouble was I'd get over it & think what the fuck was that all about, never mind I'm ok now.Wrong. She also said that even when I felt ok & "normal", if the me of 20 years ago could have stepped into my body I'd have thought something was badly wrong, you get used to the status quo & your perception of normal changes. Funny thing is I've told doctors a couple of times in the past that I thought I was depressed & was told that I didn't fit the profile because I was active & animated & cheerful. More cheerful now! Doesn't going for a ride clear the head. Well now look what you've done, my longest post by miles !!

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Post  gus Thu 10 Nov 2011, 7:15 am

lol! Actually it was Reardo that got the ball rolling .Credit must go to him .Doctor told me once "i dont know if you should be riding that bike at the
moment " . When i tod him it was the only time i didnt feel crook he said Maybe i should get one . Laughing
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Post  lliquidlen Mon 28 Nov 2011, 11:14 am

Thank you Gus for writing about the last 20 years of my life and saving me the problem and typing.

"THE BLACK DOG" Was how Winston Churchill described depression which he suffered from all his life, he treated it with lots of sex sometimes even involving his wife, champagne for breakfast lunch and dinner followed by some serious drinking.

1ST, Depression is a complex problem or combination of problems and please don't consider us Mentally ill some of us are just ILL. In many cases depression is caused when the body does not produce sufficient Serotonin and many of us have gone the "Prozac" route, I spent 3 years on Prozac and it helped me "Over the hump" but I elected to come off it against the advice from my Shrink about 5 years ago and don't regret it but I still have episodes of depression and I am on a permenant LOW dose of an anti anxiety drug which I suspect will be my friend for life.

Depression is probably the most prevalent illness in our society today and is vastly under diagnosed and untreated and VERY often misunderstood and a stigma is often associated with those brave enough to admit to suffering from this DISEASE normally caused of a fear by the uneducated of "mental illness" and because they often associate with the term "mental illness" with "madness" though some of us may have both. Smile

We should also remember that Depression is a "coverall" name given to a multitude of symptoms one of which is "Anxiety" which is very often a part of the disease and is sometimes treated with "carefully prescribed and monitored "Anti Anxiety Drugs".

Drugs used to treat Depression and Anxiety can be very effective as can Counseling and treatment by Psychologists but all drugs can have SERIOUS side effects, I was breifly moved from Prozac to a newer drug "Cipramil" which made me feel truly awful followed by a spontaneous but very strong desire to commit suicide, I contacted my Doctor immediately and went instantly back on to Prozac, that was a terrifying experience and after research we found that the drug was allegedly taken off the market in Britain and Europe because of several really bad "Episodes" in which folk were killed, all the more reason to keep in close contact with your Doctor if you are taking and drugs for this disease.

Thank you Gus and Raerdo for broaching this important subject and allowing folk here to discuss openly what they may or may not be suffering from without fear of being "rubbished" by their Peers on this excellent Forum.

Thank you both.

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Post  gus Mon 28 Nov 2011, 2:14 pm

As i said, Reardos call about putting it on-line , it was just both of us didnt feel we had anything to be embarrassed about . And as he put it
" i dont give a shit who knows " Now that Aussie launguage if i've ever heard it . Razz
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Post  Reardo Mon 28 Nov 2011, 5:20 pm

Thanks for telling your story's, I think the idea has/is working.

Thanks to Gus for doing the write up.

As some one said, if it only helps one. then that is a plus.

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*Open airbox lid with K&N.
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*PC3 with the supplied map and these mod got 123hp with 115nm of torque.
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Post  Mpottsy Tue 29 Nov 2011, 10:27 am

thanks for sharing guys and big kudos too.

I have had to deal with anxiety and depression but from the other side of the table so to speak. My ex wife had problems with depression but unfortunately would not admit it and seek the profession help that she needed. She would regularly transfer the cause of her problems to different things and say that once it was sorted she would be better. Unfortunately the issues never went away and she still struggles with her depression.

My current partner Also suffers from depression and anxiety. She is fortunately getting the help she needs from professionals and can enjoy life. Things are not always perfect but she knows when she is feeling bad and can take measures to reduce her anxieties. It is very sad to watch the ones you love struggle day to day and feel that there is nothing that you can do to help. Having the support of family and friends have helped both of us. it is important to remember that even though partners and loved ones do not have the illness they are still affected by it in different ways. Personally i feel that understanding and acceptance is a huge step to the road to recovery.

I think that it is important to remember that this illness is most commonly caused by a very small chemical imbalance in the brain chemistry. With treatment most people can lead healthy lives and enjoy everything life has to offer however in other cases this is the tip of the iceberg and may require additional treatments. Admitting that there is a problem is the first steps to getting the help that is needed and making a good recovery. I hate most of the terms that are used to describe this illness and the effects it has, like "normal", "mental"etc.. I personally feel that it labels individuals which if you think about it is what a lot of people who suffer are trying to avoid. I do like the approach Sharon' current medical professional uses is that this helps her to have a health life and a fulfilling life without fear.

I applaud you all here for sharing you stories and offer my best wishes and support. Keep riding and keep Safe Smile

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Post  gus Thu 01 Dec 2011, 8:04 pm

I spoke to a good friend today who i hadn't seen for 5 years . I spoke to his wife yesterday ,she knew i had had a heart attack a few years ago
but didn't know about the anxiety attacks afterwords. .This came out in general conversation ,its hard not to when people ask "how have you been ".
It was just a 1 min. conversation about it and we moved onto a different subject .
Today i find out the same friend has suffered from the same condition .No big deal except i have known him for 25+ years . I think he
was really glad to be able to say "i get that ,and I'm on medication for it ".Obveiously his wife had said ,Gus gets that weird felling you get .
He said to me ,i always thought of it as a sign of weakness . Bloody hell this guy was an underground miner and for 25+ years he was to ashamed
to tell me or anyone else .I could see a weight lifted of his shoulders .We ended up having a good laugh about some of the systems .That in itself should make him feel better , well i like to think so .
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Post  Freeway Fri 02 Dec 2011, 10:05 pm

It's interesting that what we have here is a cross section of society from different walks of life & localities, different lives & financial positions, ages etc with a single common interest which brings us to this forum, & this subject has been interesting (& helpful) to a number of us from across this range of personalities. That shows that in the broader community problems of depression/anxiety in various forms & ranges of severity are quite common (here in the lucky country) & an issue that perhaps needs more attention from our fearless leaders etc than it receives. It kind of ain't spoke of although groups like Beyond Blue have been raising their profile in recent times. We are constantly bombarded with bullshit about the road toll & endless carnage etc ( highest road toll was in fact 1970, more than twice the current number with half the population) because it's such a great earner for the government, but more people in Australia every day commit suicide than die on the roads.Many if not all of these are people with problems which are beyond their control & can be treated but they remain undiagnosed & without help.The road toll by contrast can never realistically be eliminated as long as we have big heavy steel things moving at high speeds. 5 people a day are killed on our roads & this generates millions of $ worth of government funded advertising & lawmaking & policing. 6 people per day kill themselves, but unfortunately nobody's yet found a way to turn this into millions of $ in revenue!

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Post  whitey1 Sat 03 Dec 2011, 10:19 pm

This thread has been really good reading. Its good to see other peoples take on this and how they coped. I just realized a month or so ago that I may have been suffering this (depression) for about 12 months although I haven't seen my doc about it yet. I think it stems from my wife going through breast cancer last year and the stress that it had put me under even though I didn't realize it.
Good to talk about this sort of stuff.
Cheers
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Post  gus Sun 04 Dec 2011, 7:51 pm

Well lets hope you and your family are doing well . Laughing
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Post  gus Wed 22 May 2013, 6:05 pm

I thought I might bring this post up again due to the fact of so many new members .(start at page one)
Also there is a special reason .
My new tl (to me) as most of you know came to be acquired in pieces . On reassembly it became obvious it had been much loved .
It looked like it was about to be given a new lease of life with lots of new parts still unpacked .
Unfortunately times got tough for a fellow rider and he took his own life .(took me age's to write that ,even though I never met him )
I did crack a beer for him when it started though , I just know he was smiling and yelling Yeeeaaaah.
I know i'll never sell it out of respect and have sent some pics of the bike to his parents ,which they appreciated .
Well its that time again to ask you mate .
Everything O.K .
Anxiety ,depression . - Page 2 IMG_0127_zpsca041b85
It may look it ,but ask twice and look him straight in the eye , let him know we all need a hand at times .
Don't think ,he's got a bike a car a boat a helicopter a gorgeous wife ,a big house on the beach lots of money he's ok .
It doesn't work that way .


Last edited by gus on Wed 22 May 2013, 7:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  boomer Wed 22 May 2013, 6:42 pm

hear hear Gus

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Post  mtbeerwah Wed 22 May 2013, 7:14 pm

first time I`ve read this thread, respect and empathy to those who suffer in a serve way, as I do understand how it can control one`s life!!
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Post  NTBill Wed 22 May 2013, 7:27 pm

First time I've read this thread also and it makes me realise what an awsome bunch of people ride Bandits.
Gus your last post was pretty special also. You've done the previous owner of that sweet TL proud and sending pics to his folks is a real nice gesture. Got me reflecting on some particular baggage I had to ditch and kicked me into action. Cheers for that.
Bill.

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Post  SuzySuzuki Wed 22 May 2013, 7:56 pm

I am joining the Black Dog Riders again in August, in hope that we can all bring some light to those that need someone to talk to, or even know that there are people out there who can help. I feel the first stage of a cure must be the willingness to talk about it, even if it is to complete strangers on a forum such as this. It shows that we arent immortal, and even the toughest looking guys and girls have problems.
PS The bike is looking nice.. well done Very Happy

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Post  2wheelsagain Wed 22 May 2013, 7:59 pm

Gus you're a gentleman, mate, man & bloke and you will never run out of people who will ask you those questions.

The photos were a champion gesture and the TL is well worth a beer.

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Post  Freeway Wed 22 May 2013, 8:26 pm

Thanks Gus, you've done a good thing.Do you know the fellow rider's name, perhaps it's one we should all remember. Along with Grumpy.

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Post  Reardo Wed 22 May 2013, 9:11 pm

Great job all round Gus.

Man, I forgot about this thread. Cool


_________________
2007 Bandit 1250sa Silver
*Open airbox lid with K&N.
*Removed Secondaries.
*HealTech Gear Indicator w/tre "Advanced Timing Retard Eliminator is needed".
*Balanced TB's. My TPS was fine, but you should check yours.
*Arrow race headers with Yoshimura TRS.
*PC3 with the supplied map and these mod got 123hp with 115nm of torque.
*Neville Lush Racing custom tune = 130hp with 125nm at the Tyre (Standard 98hp/108nm).
My youtube channel (clickhere)
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Post  gus Thu 23 May 2013, 3:55 am

Another forum member knows more about the TL than I .I'll leave it to him to add any extra .
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Post  ThatOtherGuy Thu 23 May 2013, 9:10 am

Wow, just when I thought I was running out of reasons to come back to the forum since I no longer own a Bandit and potentially may never be able to ride one again, I see this thread pop up.

One of the things my very good GP told me to be aware of when going through my accident recovery was depression for any of many reasons. Job loss (I was recently made redundant due to the business being taken over), loss of independence due to medical exclusion on license and inability to travel without aids of some type, lack of progress in recovery (my left leg is still broken after 4 months and needs further surgery), general depression from the accident, the realisation that I may not be able to ride motorbikes again due to physical limitations, depression from ongoing medical issues due to the splenectomy, but worst of all drug dependence due to the volume of drugs I need to take just to be comfortable everyday.

I am taking anti-depressants for two reasons, to combat general depression and also to allow me to wean of the painkillers. Its weird taking them as my moods are more level than ever before, but I have developed some other issues which i need to work on. Due to the splenectomy, hygiene is a big issue for me, I have to be real careful, unfortunately that is leading to OCD behaviour at home. I now clean the house almost daily, floors are spotless, kitchen bench cleaned constantly and I wash my hands obsessively.

Its good to know I am not alone. Thanks guys. cheers
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Post  Hammy Thu 23 May 2013, 9:20 am

This is exactly why we should all take the time to tell someone that we love them. Onya Gus.
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Post  Mpottsy Thu 23 May 2013, 5:28 pm

This really is an update to my previous post in this thread.

I suffer the same thing and have done now for the past three years. I did not realise however that this was happening to me until the middle of last year and that there was a reason my my behaviour.

Two years ago I had to have a Spinal fusion op to fuse my S1 L5 vertebrae together. This is the main pivot point of your lower spine and pelvis. This was as a result of a work place injury I had suffered and had been having treatment for over the previous 16 months or so. As a result of this surgery many thoughts went through my head especially I am still young and what about enjoying children etc. Added to this was the lack of care I was getting not only from work but also the insurance companies as I had to chase and chase them just to get treatment approvals whilst constantly suffering pain and lose of feeling in my legs. This would lead to bouts of depression and anger and wanting to close myself off from everyone and everything. In my mind no one cared and that I should just get on with it and stop being a sook. I still remember the feeling of is this me or am I just over reacting. People have operations and accidents all the time, so why can I not over come this. It did not help when following steady improvement in my physical recovery I started to have the same loss of feeling in my legs again. This is due to some nerve damage caused by the original injury and requires further treatment. It was being masked by the spinal damage and the surgery pain and recovery.

My temper and also aggression in some ways was getting worse and I was on a short fuse and would shout and get angry at the slightest thing especially when driving the car or bike. I finally took the decision to see my GP and was referred to a Psychologist. My GP has me taking Pristiq and the Psychologist helps me to visualise why I feel certain things in different situations. She then helps me to work out how best to handle situations thus minimising the stress and anxiety that I face. It turns out the anxiety is real and will be there now forever but with careful thought and planning it is all much more manageable. Like you Gus I am now on the "happy pills" a strange term really for what they do for us. They do not make you happy as Gus points out but help to keep us "normal" again another term that really does not express truly what is going on. Maybe another word to use would be 'balanced' as really that is what is happening, the meds help to stabilise the imbalance of hormones/body chemistry that is occurring. Forgetting to take my tablets is always the worst now, I do not slide down again but my body reacts with shakes as if I am coming down with a cold. This passes by the next morning as long as I take my tablet as soon as I realise I have not taken it.

I have found it difficult to discuss what has been happening with me over these past few years and even when I had praised Gus and Reardo for sharing their stories I was suffering the same things without realising it at that time. Re reading this thread I can only say thank you guys it has given me some courage to open up about this and sharing my experiences so far.

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Post  gus Thu 23 May 2013, 5:58 pm

Or for no reason at all ,the natural brain chemical get themselves out of whack and start producing the wrong balance .
Unfortunately you carnt say to yours self " oh ,my brain chemical are out of tune" i'll be o'k soon . (pity)Very Happy

And an anxity attack is NOT NICE at all .My worst happened in Canberra in a motel room .I took my blood pressure it was
195 \130 with a heart beat like a bandit piston .I only managed to relax after isaid to myself "o well, ive had a good life, may as well see if there is an after life "
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Post  paul Thu 23 May 2013, 9:28 pm

Can't really add much to this .................was & still is a great thread & should be revived every now & again

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Post  Reardo Fri 24 May 2013, 12:30 am

Mpottsy wrote:This really is an update to my previous post in this thread.

I suffer the same thing and have done now for the past three years. I did not realise however that this was happening to me until the middle of last year and that there was a reason my my behaviour.

Two years ago I had to have a Spinal fusion op to fuse my S1 L5 vertebrae together. This is the main pivot point of your lower spine and pelvis. This was as a result of a work place injury I had suffered and had been having treatment for over the previous 16 months or so. As a result of this surgery many thoughts went through my head especially I am still young and what about enjoying children etc. Added to this was the lack of care I was getting not only from work but also the insurance companies as I had to chase and chase them just to get treatment approvals whilst constantly suffering pain and lose of feeling in my legs. This would lead to bouts of depression and anger and wanting to close myself off from everyone and everything. In my mind no one cared and that I should just get on with it and stop being a sook. I still remember the feeling of is this me or am I just over reacting. People have operations and accidents all the time, so why can I not over come this. It did not help when following steady improvement in my physical recovery I started to have the same loss of feeling in my legs again. This is due to some nerve damage caused by the original injury and requires further treatment. It was being masked by the spinal damage and the surgery pain and recovery.

My temper and also aggression in some ways was getting worse and I was on a short fuse and would shout and get angry at the slightest thing especially when driving the car or bike. I finally took the decision to see my GP and was referred to a Psychologist. My GP has me taking Pristiq and the Psychologist helps me to visualise why I feel certain things in different situations. She then helps me to work out how best to handle situations thus minimising the stress and anxiety that I face. It turns out the anxiety is real and will be there now forever but with careful thought and planning it is all much more manageable. Like you Gus I am now on the "happy pills" a strange term really for what they do for us. They do not make you happy as Gus points out but help to keep us "normal" again another term that really does not express truly what is going on. Maybe another word to use would be 'balanced' as really that is what is happening, the meds help to stabilise the imbalance of hormones/body chemistry that is occurring. Forgetting to take my tablets is always the worst now, I do not slide down again but my body reacts with shakes as if I am coming down with a cold. This passes by the next morning as long as I take my tablet as soon as I realise I have not taken it.

I have found it difficult to discuss what has been happening with me over these past few years and even when I had praised Gus and Reardo for sharing their stories I was suffering the same things without realising it at that time. Re reading this thread I can only say thank you guys it has given me some courage to open up about this and sharing my experiences so far.

Wow mate! That is like you wrote that about me.
I had big problems with bullying from the HR bitch's, When I was at my most vulnerable. Already questioning my self worth at 27 year old with fucked back. Having to retire from footy. Going from someone that helped everyone, to someone who needs help.
Going from a fitness freak to someone who should be thankful that I can live a reasonably normal life if manage right.
Fuck.....I'm making myself sad. lol

On a brighter light.
I now control anxiety well most the time. Cool
My bad back is a day to day thing(Surgery for me would make the bad days better & the good days worse). Rolling Eyes
When it's good (& the stars aline: work, kids and weather) I ride the bike. Very Happy
I married the woman that suck by me in the shit times. cheers






But sometimes we need to look at the people around.
A mate of mine, a good bloke & every day rider. Has had a bad couple of years. lost his only son age 22, after a 5 year fight with cancer. He caught his longtime girlfriend in bed with some bloke and now his muscle dystrophy has gotten so bad, he had to quit his job and his legs so weak he can't hold up the bike.
And when he talks about finances, I feel like crying.
But every time I see him, he makes me laugh Laughing

My problems don't seem so bad any more.
As my dad used to say, There is always someone worse off!



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My youtube channel (clickhere)
Reardo
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